What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
