i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You pole danced in your parka.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
