Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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