and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
