just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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