I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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