well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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