i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
