i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
