I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
