he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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