so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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