I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
True strength comes from lack of pants
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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