no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
