White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
