end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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