i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
