dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
