When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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