and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
