I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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