You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
