no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
