If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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