Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
