i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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