in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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