Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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