Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
People in love make me want to vomit
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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