The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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