I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
