I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
