the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
