My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
a search helicopter?!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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