I just made out with a guy for $7.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
