Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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