i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
