dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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