I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
