I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
my liver is dry heaving
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
