At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
