I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize