Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
