So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
