So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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