I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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