Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
