But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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