We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
