After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
