So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
