the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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