Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
