The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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