No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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