so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
