i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
