Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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