I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize