wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
